I have so many things I wish I could say.  I'm so scared that everything will be used against me.  I guess I isolated myself and now I sit here alone.  My own personal hell.  I am dying inside.  I pushed away everyone that I love and now they don't want me, not one of them.  I deserve everything that is happening.  I am not a good person.  I hate myself.  There is only one way off this deserted island.  I'm sorry I let you down my sweet babies.  You are everything to me!